Drunk Penelope
by MoonInLove07
Summary: They say that alcohol frees the tongue, causing a bout of sincerity in your body. Penelope had drunk too much, but what the hell, it was her best friend's wedding! Set 7x24. Rossi / Strauss. Hints Morgan / Garcia and Garcia/OMC. ONESHOT.


DISCLAIMER: **I DON'T OWN ANYTHING (BESIDES O.C.)**

_AN: Hey guys! Here's my new one-shot. I do not know why this idea came into my head, but hope you like it;) Set in 7x24. Tell me your opinion, please! (especially about my O.C.) )_

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**To alcohol! The cause of -and solution- to all of life's problems **(Homer Simpson)

Erin looked at bride and groom, sharing their first dance as husband and wife, a sincere smile painted on her lips. She remembered her own wedding with happiness, despite her recent divorce. Jake was a good man, and most importantly, he was a good father to their three children. But their marriage just didn't work.

Dave Rossi smiled at her from a distance, while he was dancing with Emily Prentiss. She had decided that her stage with the BAU was over, and everyone was looking out for her.

She sat down, resting her forearms on the table, and took a sip of her soda. Her feet were suffering with such hellish heels, but a wedding is always a wedding.

"Are you tired of dancing?" Penelope said in a voice somewhat taken by alcohol.

"Yes, I'm a little tired," she replied, with a smile. The younger woman laughed feebly, returning to take a swig of red wine. Erin suspected that this was not her first drink.

"How you doing with our Italian stallion?"

Erin blinked rapidly, looking at Penelope in amazement. How she knew her secret relationship with Dave? "I don't know what you're talking about"

"Oh, sure" Penelope said, giggling "You two are just friends ... I know that kind of friendship"

"What do you mean by that?" she asked in confusion, "What kind of friendship?"

But Penelope didn't answer her. She was looking at somewhere in the makeshift dance floor, totally absorbed, smiling cheekily. "Look at that," Penelope whispered, in a voice full of sexuality.

Erin frowned, fixing her eyes to where Penelope was looking at, but she honestly didn't see anything "What?"

"You ever seen a more perfect body?" she said, turning to take another sip of wine "Look at his ass"

Derek Morgan was a few meters from the two women, dancing some kind of modern song with a blonde girl. Erin shifted in the chair, suddenly feeling uncomfortable with the surreal situation.

"He dances very well" Penelope whispered confidentially, approaching a stunned Erin "And you should see the beat of his hips into bed ... That's pure hell, baby"

Erin opened her eyes, looking at the other woman up and down. "Excuse me?"

"Oops, sorry" she said, covering her mouth, trying to hold back a laugh, "I shouldn't talk like that"

"You and agent Morgan-"

"No, my boss lady" Penelope interrupted, shaking her head, "That happened many years ago... _Talk dirty to me_"

She grinned, remembering that moment. Erin could never get that call out of her mind. Now, that anecdote caused a smile in her. Crossing her arms, Erin looked at Penelope with a raised eyebrow, "You're sure there's nothing between you and him?"

"Come on" Penelope said, prior to refilling her glass, "I'm too old for that stuff!"

Then she frowned, looking at Erin with her eyes wide open "Sorry, I did not mean it ... I mean, yes, I meant that, but about myself ... It's great that you and Rossi-'

"Okay," Erin said, rather mortified "Stop apologizing"

Penelope sighed heavily, sinking more into her chair "Alcohol and I don't get along. After a drunken night, I wake up with temporary amnesia, and then I start thinking horrible things about everyone"

"Ummm, then stop drinking"

"And I shouldn't let any of this affected my life," she continued, totally ignoring Erin "But come on, look around you. Everyone is in love, even Kevin Lynch. That disgusting rat found someone, but I'm still here, alone and depressed "

"Well, Prentiss is single"

"No way, she is dating a stripper boy, ten years younger than her," Penelope said quickly, and then covered her face with her hands "Ugh, the naive Doctor Reid, who can't stop talking about statistics, he has a love life! "

Erin was speechless. She didn't know that those agents had such a shaken life. Penelope removed her hands from her face and looked directly into her eyes. After a few seconds of intense gaze, she whispered, "You have somebody, too." Then, to the amazement of Erin, she began to cry.

Erin opened her mouth trying to say something to calm her loud crying. Alcohol was not good for anyone, as she had learned on her own skin.

Derek and Aaron, they found out her problem and she was sincerely grateful to both men. Her life was sinking into despair, but she couldn't realize by herself.

"Garcia, stop crying" Erin whispered, placing her arm around her shoulders, "You are a smart beautiful woman. Any man would be happy to have you by his side"

"Oh, it's ok" she said, drying her cheeks "Then why I am alone, drunk, talking to a woman who frightens me?"

Erin raised her eyebrows and swallowed hard. "You're afraid of me?"

"Hell yes," she answered, looking at the other woman in surprise "Don't you know that? Whole team is afraid of you. You are like Snow White's evil stepmother"

"Oh," Erin answered, not knowing what else to say. She knew her temper was hard, but not to the point of intimidating people ...

"I think I should go somewhere else" Penelope muttered, raising from the chair clumsily "I'm talking too much"

Penelope then began walking, totally disoriented and not knowing where to go. "I'll end up with my sorry ass on this fucking grass" she thought, trying to keep her balance.

Then a hand grabbed her elbow, keeping her body away from the ground. She raised her eyes, and saw a blond man and his big blue eyes. "Hey, careful" he whispered gently, "Let me guess... you're the famed Penelope Garcia?"

She grinned at the guy, really dazzled by his perfect features "Let me guess... I'm talking to God? _Great, P. You just added blasphemy to your long list of sins_, she thought.

He laughed out loud, shaking his head "Nothing is further from reality," the handsome stranger whispered, with a beaming smile, "I'm just Adam LaMontagne, Will's older brother"

"I knew you had to be somewhere," Penelope said, before the watchful eyes of Erin, who watched with true shock, "You're the real prince charming"

Adam shrugged his shoulders, with a twinkle of amusement in his eyes "Well I was looking for my princess, do you think I've been lucky?"

"You want a drunk princess?" she said, blinking rapidly, "Cause this princess is very affected by alcohol"

"I don't care as long as she knows how to move her feet," Adam answered in a seductive tone, encircling her waist with his arms.

"Oh, bad luck" she said, turning away from him "I have no sense of rhythm"

Adam frowned, immobile, as he watched Penelope walking away from him "That woman just don't want to know a thing about me?" he muttered to himself.

"Why are you sitting here?" a voice whispered behind her back, but Erin already knew who was behind her.

With a smile, she rose from the chair and took the hand of Dave. "I was waiting for you"

Dave took her to the middle of the garden, where everyone was having a good time. She let herself be guided by him, her body moving at the same pace as him The song that was playing was perfect for lovers. Erin grinned, resting her chin on his shoulder.

Then her eyes fell on Penelope. She was very close to them, dancing with her best friend, laughing at Derek's some joke. He seemed to realize her intoxicated state, and escorted her out of the house. Looks like the party was over for her new friend.

"Dave?"

"Yeah, baby?"

"Morgan and Garcia are just friends?" she asked curiously. Apparently there was a gossip girl inside her body!

Dave gave a chuckle, pressing his body against hers. "Friends, my ass" he whispered sincerely.


End file.
